文/Ko Hayashi

To live a life of choice, freedom and unconditional love is a challenge. We must be willing to take risks. To dare. To change.


The following quote is most compelling:


"Come to the edge, He said.
They said: We are afraid.

Come to the edge, He said.

They came. He pushed them,

And they flew . . ."
--Guillaume Apollinaire
Avant-Garde French Poet






Many people are fearful of change, any kind of change. So they pretend. And

they wear many masks. And they are truly afraid of showing their authentic

selves. They are so concerned with what others might think of them.


What if we were to say that "Actually other people are not that concerned about you. That others are so busy worrying about themselves, and what others might think of them, that they don't have much time or energy to be thinking about you." What if that were true? Then you have been worrying about others' opinions about you needlessly.


So that is an illusion that just got shattered.


We say we want Freedom. We is I. . . all of us. Freedom is not a mere concept, nor is it arm chair philosophy. Freedom is an Act. To be truly free, we must live it. And dare to take risks.


"Living at risk is jumping off the cliff,
and building your wings on the way down."

--Ray Bradbury, author
of more than 500 literary works



We all have heroes. We think heroes are brave and unafraid. The truth is that many women and men who have done heroic deeds have fears like all of us. And still they acted. Because as Linda Chandler teaches us in Core Value Training, "Courage is not the absence of fear. Being courageous is feeling your fears, and stepping through them anyway. That is what true courage is."

我們都有許多心目中的英雄,我們也都認為英雄們都是很勇敢與不會害怕的。但真相是,那些做了非常英勇行為或事蹟的許多女性與男士,他們和我們一樣都會感到害怕與恐懼,只是他們仍然去行動了。這就好像Linda Chandler 在核心價值的課程中教我們的,“並不是恐懼不存在就是勇氣,勇敢的去感覺到自己恐懼的存在,而無論如何也要一步步地穿越過它們(恐懼),這樣子才是真正的勇氣。”

So to live a life of courage, to live at risk . . . is to literally jump off the cliff and build your wings "on the way down".


How can you apply that concept to your own life?


If your life is not working the way that you think it should. If you feel unhappy, unfulfilled, bored, and trapped by your current circumstance . . . perhaps it is time to make new choices, make new friends, go to new places, and to grow through new experiences. Now that may seem like a scary thing to do. After all, you could get hurt. You could fail. And you might get lost.


But look at what you might gain: new awareness, a richer life, more vibrant experiences, and significant personal growth. You can choose to hide under your bed covers for the rest of your life, and what kind of life would that be? Hiding away from the world ultimately won't keep you safe. Sooner or later, we mortal human beings will all die


So the real question is: Are you really afraid of dying? Or is it that you are afraid . . . terrified of truly living?


Dare to risk. Dare to live.


I remember one of our students at a recent core value training program. She was extremely ill with breast cancer. Frail, thin, in constant pain . . . this heroic woman came to class all four days. She never complained. She always wore a smile. Her courage touched me and all of us very deeply.


She was an excellent student: always present and focused on the lessons. She took extensive notes, she participated fully. She never expressed regret, remorse or anger. She laughed; she cried. Her heart was on display for all of us to be nurtured by how she chose to show up.


Then on Sunday morning, she raised her hand to share in front of the whole combined class. I called her up. She moved slowly, but she was determined. We could see that she had lost so much weight. But she had not lost her courage. She spoke that morning in a strong, confident and clear voice. She talked about many things. She spoke of her fight against her disease. She talked about those people she loved. And she thanked her classmates for their support, understanding and love. She said it had helped her tremendously.

最後一天星期日的早上,她舉手表示要在合班上課的所有學生前面分享,我叫她上 前來,她踏著緩慢但是卻非常堅定的步伐走到前面。大家都看到雖然她失去了很多的體重,但是她完全沒有失去她的勇氣。她用堅強、自信與清晰的聲音在那天的早 上娓娓道來。訴說著關於她許多的事情,如何的對抗她的疾病、那些她所愛著的人們。她也非常感謝同學們的支持、理解與愛,她說這些對她有非常大的幫助。

During her touching talk, there was not a dry eye in the whole audience. We were all crying. What we witnessed before us was a beautiful, brave woman who was proclaiming to us how precious life is. She challenged all of us to live courageously, without illusions, addictions, excuses, neurosis, and escapes. She shared with us how peaceful she felt from being together with all of us.

在她感人的談話過程中,所有的聽眾沒有任何一隻眼睛是乾的,我們全部都流下了 感動的淚水。我們都見證了在大家面前的這位美麗而又英勇的女士,告訴我們生命是何等的珍貴呀。她要我們過一個有勇氣生活,遠離幻想、沉迷上癮、藉口、恐懼 與逃避。她也分享了當與我們大家在一起時感覺到是多麼的平和與安寧。

After she spoke, everyone got up and lined up to hug her and tell her how her words had moved them. There was a long line of people. I went up to people and whispered in their ears, to be gentle when they hugged her because she was in pain. When I was softly whispering to another participant to remind him to hold her gently . . . she turned to me and said: It's really O.K. This morning I feel no pain. This morning, right now, all I can feel is Love."


Her words inspired me. Right then I knew how unconditional love can free us from pain, suffering and all the things that hold us back from accessing the life that we seek, deserve and cherish. Thank You Teo Tang Buey for the lesson you taught me that morning.

她的那句話啟發了我,就在那個當下我瞭解了無條件的愛是如何的能夠把我們從痛苦與病痛中解脫出來,還有那些在背後掌控與束縛著我們的人生,諸如盲目的追尋、認為我們應得到更多與自己並不擁有卻認為很珍貴的東西。真的感謝Teo Tang Buey在那個早上給我上了一課,她教導了我。

Two months later, Teo passed away. Now she is one of our angels looking over us and urging us to live lives of courage, authenticity and unconditional love.




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